Part 1: The Strength in Softness

Yes, I feel that is the problem with not being able to trust people and asking for help- because there have been an abundance of times where I have been vulnerable too, and I have trusted people with myself, with my darkest, deepest fears, and they did not really rise to the occasion. They did what they had to anyway. And humans have started scaring me a bit.

I feel like maybe that's the bottleneck, you know? I feel that's why I am unable to ask for help- because I've been accustomed to being on my own for so long that I have stopped becoming vulnerable to even my closest family members. Even my closest friends, to be honest. And I feel the only solution to that is to understand that vulnerability never asks to be reciprocated or to be protected after you have become vulnerable to someone. This game of vulnerability and then expectations is just a very dangerous Russian roulette that you play. Maybe that person helps you, and your expectations are met. Or maybe that person doesn't, and your expectations are shattered. Chances are it is going to be the latter, that's just nature- of both humans and expectations, and there's nothing wrong with it.

Now I realise, however- the solution is- be vulnerable anyway. That's the answer. That's what has worked for me. Be vulnerable and be open anyway, because I feel that when you are true to someone, including yourself- when you're verbally telling them that this is what you've been going through- you are just sending off good energy to the universe. You're showing the universe that you trust it enough to speak your truth without fear- like a blind fall.

And I feel that you trust the energy within you, that all the negativity or the negative emotions that you've been holding up for very long, you've at least acknowledged them by speaking out loud. You've asked someone for help, even just by telling them that this is what's happening, this is what you're going through.

And I feel that's why we are here, right?

I mean, humans help humans. Humans are supposed to be that helpful source in the universe- that even if we just share our problems with others, we feel lighter.

And I think, what's the harm anyway?

If you ask yourself at the end of it all, what's the harm in being vulnerable? Why expect anything? Expectations in the long run are a losing game. I haven't seen any human have expectations that are met continuously. You just have to be happy, man. You just have to…be.

That's all I think is the answer to this game. Thoughts?